Time Really Does Fly By

So it has been a whole year to the day that I have posted on here.  No excuses, just haven't felt like writing.  I since have returned to the workforce instead of staying at home with the kids.  I went back into a labor position as a tire technician at Goodyear.  I love the physical exercise, however it is hard on my body.  It is also an emotional struggle at times due to my job being in a "man's" line of work. Men and women really do NOT think alike!   Its been bittersweet. At first I enjoyed  the freedom of doing something for myself, however now I feel guilty that I am not with my boys every second of the day.  I also dislike the feeling of working just to live and living to just to work.  It seems like such a waste.  There is so much to do and see and experience, yet we are forced to slave away every day just to have existence.  On a brighter note, I have decided to go back to school to finish my degree.  I figure I might as well get the darn thing since I am already in debt with student loans. So although its taken me almost 10 years, I will finish school!   Hopefully this will be the change in my life that I need. 

My family life is great. I have been married for 3 years.  My oldest son is almost 3 and my younger son is 18 months.  They are the joys of my life.  I could not ask for better kids and they are best friends.  Its amazing how fast they grow, not just in size, but in intelligence.  Toddlers are way smarter than I could have ever imagined.  I wonder what happens to us as we get older?  We do not seem to catch on as quick.  Maybe we are just stuck in our ways. Anyways, they keep me on my toes for sure.  Sometimes life is overwhelming, but it is so worth it.  Our family moved into a smaller house since last year.  At first it was hard for me.  I loved the house we were in.  After moving in, however, I actually like the cozy feel of the smaller place.  I brings us closer together.  Life happens in all sorts of ways and I am excited for what comes next on our journey.

Cherish the ones you love and immerse yourself in every memory in the making

Nostalgia.....

After going through a few (hundred) old pictures the other day, I began to think a lot about my past experiences.  Its amazing that being only 32 years old, I already have a horrible memory.  I was scanning pictures from childhood, pictures from school, and even pictures taken in my 20's.  The amazing thing is that I can remember more clear moments from childhood than I can from five years ago.  I wonder why?   Maybe because when your younger, a year feels like an eternity and now a year feels like a few months. I remember thinking the school year would never end and I would never get old.  Ha!  I wish!  I can't believe how fast time truly does fly.  I remember when 30 was old, and now I am passed that and counting.  There are some memories I have, which I have forgotten so much detail, that I can't remember if it even happened.  Is this only going to get worse the older I get?  I hope not.  What good is remembering the "good ole days" if you can't even remember them?  I will have some good stories to tell when I am elderly if I keep mixing memories and dreams together. I even impress myself sometimes.  Anyways,  I love looking at the old photos.  They help me remember things which have been forgotten.  Usually its not the event that is hard to remember, but a face. I feel sorrow for those who have none to look back on.  I have always treasured such things. 

Photo of my brother and myself

Christmas 1984

Pictures are not the only things that bring back fond memories.  Music is almost more effective.  I can hear an old song and it brings me back to a certain time, place, and feeling.  The song doesn't even have to be one of my favorites, just one that has some sort of insignificant meaning that has somehow attached itself to a chapter of my life.  Music can istantly make me feel the same as I did in that very moment.  It is that powerful.  I can even remember the way the memory smells sometimes, like an open field on a chilly, foggy night....dark and fresh with a hint of grass.  Crazy I know, but I do get recollections like this at times.  It makes me sad and happy all at the same time.  A single memory can trigger more memories and soon I'm traveling down Memory Lane.  That is until I realize that I am still here in the "now" and I can never get that time back again.  That is what makes me sad. So back in the present,  I remind myself that I am currently making new memories and feelings that I will be able to recall later.  This is the happy part.  It is bittersweet to remember the time that has come and gone.  Every part of who I am has been based on those histories.  Whether bad or good, every detail of my former years has molded me into the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that I have become.  I would not change those memories even if I had the option.  The tears and the laughter have made an impact on my life.  I am glad I have had the chance to experience both.  I can't wait for what the future may hold and for the knowledge gained and lessons to be learned.  Life is a never-ending memory.

I Heart Faces...."Slice of Life"

This weeks photo challenge at I Heart Faces is "Slice of Life."  This photo is definately a slice of my life.  My two boys, 6 months and 22 months are playing in the grass at the park on one of our nicer spring days.  I love how they are finally interacting with each other.  As a mother, nothing completes me more than my children.

Please check out the other photos in this weeks challenge at www.iheartfaces.com

Procrastinating....

So I am sitting here writing on the computer, complaining of nothing to do, when obviously I have never-ending amounts of laundry to wash, fold, and put away.  That is just the laudry!  The dishes are never-ending too.  Nobody warned me that after marriage and children, I would be a slave to housework. Wasn't this a myth of a stay at home mom?  According to most men, staying at home is a piece of cake.  I long to go back to work full-time, just for a break from my home.  Who am I kidding, I will still have to do the same chores here, even if I am working too.  I have always tried to keep up with cleaning but for some reason I have been slacking lately.  I have no words or defense for myself since I currently stay home five out of seven days a week.  I can't sleep at night, can't sleep during the day, yet things around the house are still going undone.  What is this thing called MOTIVATION?  Obviously I have forgotten and fail to have any.  Oh well, at least the unfolded laudry serves as a great play spot for my little man!

New to This....

     So I am new to this whole blogging thing.  I love to write, take photos, and travel.  I would like to share bits of my life with everyone.  So many beautiful things in this world and I want to explore them all.  So many people take their day to day lives for granted.  I am thankful for all god has given to me.  I have a beautiful family, beautiful friends, and its a beautiful world.  I know that sometimes it is hard to see the good in things when there is so much sadness and suffering, but if you take a good look around there is always hope and love.  I love to take pictures of everything around me.  My husband thinks I am crazy because I will take pictures of anything, even if it means nothing.  Sometimes you can find joy in meaningless things.  I do all the time.  I feel like I can look at everything differently and make it mean something to me.  I can also make something mean a million different things too, maybe I "read" into things too much.  If I didn't, I would feel like I was missing out on something.  Having an open mind to imagine is important.  Looking at my children for example,  they are in awe at the littlest things which most of us ignore.  Wish I had the imagination of a child.  Nothing has limits and nothing is impossible through their eyes.  It brings me joy and happiness to simply watch my boys find excitement and wonder in their surroundings.  It is through children that I see the hope and love in the world-unconditional love and trust.  We could all learn from them.  Becoming older does not necessarily make one wiser.  So many are stuck dwelling on all the negatives and it gets them nowhere.  Only having a positive outlook can bring us forward in life.  I know there are many small set-backs along the way, but I do believe experiences whether bad or good, make us stronger and more knowledgeable.  Sometimes I do have to remind myself of this.  I have had my share of "hard" times and no matter what I still get through them.  Eventually everything comes to pass and life keeps driving on.  Life is too short for anger and judgement.  Everyone leads their lives a little differently and we are not here to judge.  Is it not better to try to understand instead?  Yes, we may not agree, but what may work for one doesn't always work for someone else.  Sometimes we can even learn from someone else's mistakes and better our own lives.  Maybe that is the purpose of a mistake, to better something else.  No one person can have all the answers. Trying to see everything in many perspectives helps to bring comfort and ease to my life.  I try to surround myself with things that make me happy and try to disconnect myself from the things that bring me down.  Although this is not always possible, it works in alot of situations.  I admit I tend to take an argumentive view occasionally.  Not because I want to fight with anyone, but because I want others to try to see the other options as well.  Sometimes I debate against what I actually feel, just to get an idea of the other side.  Its good to weigh out the pros and cons in every aspect.  It is bothersome to read or hear comments from others that are so blindly aggressive.  Why do we try to tear each other apart?  Does it really make anyone feel better?  I don't believe it does.  Every person has their own struggles and I get that, but taking it out on everyone else is not going to fix what is broken, it just darkens hearts.  I am just as guilty as anyone else with negative actions.  It is human nature.  I do strive to become a better person daily.  At least I make an honest attempt and try to keep a positive outlook on life no matter what is thrown my way.  This is the least I can do to contribute to the world around me.