Nostalgia.....

After going through a few (hundred) old pictures the other day, I began to think a lot about my past experiences.  Its amazing that being only 32 years old, I already have a horrible memory.  I was scanning pictures from childhood, pictures from school, and even pictures taken in my 20's.  The amazing thing is that I can remember more clear moments from childhood than I can from five years ago.  I wonder why?   Maybe because when your younger, a year feels like an eternity and now a year feels like a few months. I remember thinking the school year would never end and I would never get old.  Ha!  I wish!  I can't believe how fast time truly does fly.  I remember when 30 was old, and now I am passed that and counting.  There are some memories I have, which I have forgotten so much detail, that I can't remember if it even happened.  Is this only going to get worse the older I get?  I hope not.  What good is remembering the "good ole days" if you can't even remember them?  I will have some good stories to tell when I am elderly if I keep mixing memories and dreams together. I even impress myself sometimes.  Anyways,  I love looking at the old photos.  They help me remember things which have been forgotten.  Usually its not the event that is hard to remember, but a face. I feel sorrow for those who have none to look back on.  I have always treasured such things. 

Photo of my brother and myself

Christmas 1984

Pictures are not the only things that bring back fond memories.  Music is almost more effective.  I can hear an old song and it brings me back to a certain time, place, and feeling.  The song doesn't even have to be one of my favorites, just one that has some sort of insignificant meaning that has somehow attached itself to a chapter of my life.  Music can istantly make me feel the same as I did in that very moment.  It is that powerful.  I can even remember the way the memory smells sometimes, like an open field on a chilly, foggy night....dark and fresh with a hint of grass.  Crazy I know, but I do get recollections like this at times.  It makes me sad and happy all at the same time.  A single memory can trigger more memories and soon I'm traveling down Memory Lane.  That is until I realize that I am still here in the "now" and I can never get that time back again.  That is what makes me sad. So back in the present,  I remind myself that I am currently making new memories and feelings that I will be able to recall later.  This is the happy part.  It is bittersweet to remember the time that has come and gone.  Every part of who I am has been based on those histories.  Whether bad or good, every detail of my former years has molded me into the wife, mother, daughter, sister and friend that I have become.  I would not change those memories even if I had the option.  The tears and the laughter have made an impact on my life.  I am glad I have had the chance to experience both.  I can't wait for what the future may hold and for the knowledge gained and lessons to be learned.  Life is a never-ending memory.